What Does It Feel Like To Be Alone?

So today I realized what the word ALONE truly meant.

I thought I had a good support network. Small. But good. My sister, A couple of friends. And then recently, my new neighbour and best friend, and a girl I know from the hospital. Today I was told that because of the way my mental health has been, they wanted me to stay in hospital for a few extra days. That was Ok with me. But not with my sister, who has been looking after E. And not with my friend either.

So anyway, my whole support network has basically turned against me because of my physical and mental health. I need to get better and my consultant wants me to stay that extra few days, so I'm going to do it. That comes before anything else at the moment. 

I have two friends at the moment, my neighbour, who has also become my best friend, and a girl I know from the hospital. They have been there for me today, more than anyone else, they understand, they understand my Cystic Fibrosis and they understand my postnatal depression. Unlike those I thought were closest to me. I have tried to tell them how I really feel and it's like they don't believe me.

My so called 'support network' isn't like they said. The said they would be there to help me but when it comes to actually helping...

Well...

It seems like my mental health is such an inconvenience to them.

Being alone isn't just a physical thing... I am alone in my mind...
Just me, myself and my thoughts...

And sometimes that isn't such a great thing

This was just a short blog post to vent how I feel. But if you ever feel alone, just remember...
In the words of Dr Suess:

"Be who you are,
And say what you feel,
Because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind."

Lots Of Love,
K